Not Being Paid: What Would Be Christ’s Response?

It’s happened to just about everyone. Someone owes us money and doesn’t pay. We know how we respond – Christian or not – with demands for payment and a discussion of the other persons “values.” Yet, is that what Christ would do?

For instance, I just came across this blog post by a Christian who wasn’t paid by another Christian for a project he completed.

So I make this video for a member of my church, quote him my hourly rate of $39 per hour. He receives the video and is very outwardly happy with it, I invoice him for 21 hours and he leaves saying he will pay on that day.

The next day he returns to pick up the DVD and get the media file to play on his laptop in presentations because he is flying over to Africa to present this video to people that weekend. He mentions that I had made a slip-up in the invoice which I acknowledge and it was actually 19 hours, not 21. My bad, invoice fixed. He says he’ll pay that week.

The next week comes, no payment, he’s in Africa, I email him and he writes back angrily because I emailed him. States he will pay this week.

Of course he doesn’t, and it goes on, but you get the gist. I felt compelled to leave a comment and have cut and pasted it here because it is a valuable lesson for the rest of us. 

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU DESERVE?

So many people who are self-employed really seem to have doubts as to what they really deserve, or what the public will pay. I met a woman who has $50 an hour on her brochure as the cost of her services, but complained that she winds up only charging about $35 an hour.

I suggested that, until she felt her services were worth more, she should change the price on her brochure to $35 an hour and “draw a line in the sand” there.

She will get the same amount of money she has been getting, yet she will get it without wasting time and energy on “negotiating” or holding resentments against customers who might, otherwise, give her more business.

Conversely, it can feel like magic when a person finally decides that he or she deserves to receive more per  hour or project. Problems in getting paid really decrease. I’ve seen it time and time again that this is absolutely true: you will only receive what you feel (in your heart of hearts) that you really deserve.

The solution to all scarcity is to love yourself and believe you deserve to receive a certain level of financial support. Yet, when we lack, we so often focus on a symptom rather than the problem. Or what someone else did to us. (The economy, the cheap employer, the cheating customer.)

In the post referenced above, the blogger writes about how a Christian should adhere to Christian values and pay his bills.

I have no argument with that statement. And I’m not writing this to criticize the writer, who’s just doing what 99.9% of us do when dealing with a problem like this.

Yet, this issue he’s confronting isn’t about the other guy. It only seems to be about the other guy. This issue is about him, the blogger. He’s looking outside of himself. He’s asking, “How could this Christian do this?” instead of asking, “What is the lesson here for me?”

This entire incident is a multi-part test of his own Christian values – his own “love” values. And the most important test question is this one: is he coming from love, or coming from fear?

Note, also, that he may have created the problem himself by, mistakenly, overcharging the customer in his original invoice. 

The customer may still have unspoken concerns about the accuracy of the invoice. He may be wondering if the mistake was deliberate. He may, in fact, be trying to mull over whether he has been overcharged in other ways, and whether he should ask for a more detailed accounting, and all as he heads off to Africa.

Need I add that a person heading off to Africa may have to deal with details (immunizations, renewing a passport, confirming arrival arrangements, etc.) that could take a higher priority than paying an invoice? Or that the customer might expect to have up to 30 days to pay and, therefore, decide to pay when he gets back because he’s getting close to the wire and has too much to do before he leaves? 

My point here is that we are never victims, no matter how it looks. We set things up. We have a hand in our own fate. Yet, even when we know we have some responsibility, we so often put all the responsibility on “the other guy” and respond in ways that make things worse.

We know we do this. So, once we have done it, what do we do to fix it?

Here’s my response for this particular situation. You may not agree with it, but I’ve seen this approach, of sending a communication grounded in love, melt stony and unforgiving hearts. 

Now, if this person doesn’t want to send a physical communication, he could silently send love to the other person every day, spend time visualizing himself being lovingly paid, and then let it go at that. Visualization is a tool to be used daily to create what we want. 

The alternatives – holding anger, hounding people with accusing e-mails, making ourselves sick with  worry, or hiring collection agencies – speak for themselves. Yet the choice between love and struggle is always ours to make. 

SUGGESTION FOR ANOTHER APPROACH

If your customer can afford to fly to Africa, he can afford to pay you.

However, consider this: anger, demands, ultimatums, veiled accusations  – none of these are Christ’s way either, and for good reason. When you make a person angry and defensive, he will be likely to want to hurt you, not help you. 

I agree that one would expect a person who says he is a Christian to keep his word and pay his bills or explain.

He may, however, be juggling his money. Or, he may have forgotten and have no access to his checkbook while in Africa.

Regardless, consider what Christ said: turn the other cheek.

I suspect that you have been paid by now. On the off chance that you have not, this is my advice:

Spend some time in prayer, connect to your heart, and think about how you felt about this man when you first met him.

Did you like him? Were you impressed by his vision? Excited to work on his project? Happy that you could help further his work and have that be a way of God supporting your own?

If so, then write down how you felt. Then, using what you’ve written, create another little video.

Spend a couple of minutes showing him the things you love about your life, the things you love about God’s goodness. Show him the life he is supporting via his payment.

Also tell him how you felt working on his project. Tell him how much you believed in his project, and how much you hoped for his success as you worked on your video for him.

Tell him that e-mail is so difficult – that everything sounds so cold – and that you apologize for sending something that may have implied something you didn’t mean. 

Tell him you hope that he has found your work of value and that the two of you may work together on a future project.

Do whatever you feel is best – send him the video file if you can, or put the video on your blog and send him the link with this message:

“You were right. I shouldn’t have sent that e-mail. I apologize. I hope your mission is going well. I really do believe in your project and made another little video about it for you.”

If you cannot come from the heart and get in a place where God’s love is flowing through you as you do all this, then don’t bother. Attack and accusation breed more of the same.

However, if you can come from the heart and approach this as an experiment to see what real love can do, try it. Coming from the heart like this has worked for me. I believe it can work for you.

“If thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.” Romans 12:20

Good Luck and God Bless.

P.S. I also agree with the other comments. The real question may be: do you really feel you earned your money and your time is worth what you are charging? If not, you will, likely, run into the problem again. Set it up next time so you don’t.

P.S. It took me decades to finally realize that the most effective way to turn potentially disastrous situations around is through approaching them through love instead of fear. One of the books that helped me get to this place was Love Is Letting Go of Fear and I recommend it highly.

P.P.S. Also, it’s best not to put yourself in such a position as this man did. So here’s my business advice:

When providing services, have your client sign a contract that legally protects you both, and get a 50% retainer or downpayment on the work to be done. It will make life easier and more straightforward for everyone. Those who can’t pay, or never intended to pay, won’t engage your services.

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