AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER – LAW OF ATTRACTION – EFT – SPIRITUAL GROWTH FOR A MAGNIFICENT LIFE
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How To Pray For Love

CupidHas this happened to you?

You’re in a relationship with someone. You feel you really love this person. You have been through a lot making this relationship work and you think things are finally working out. Then, out of the blue, the person leaves or, otherwise, dumps you.

Emotional devastation follows and so many miserable feelings: despair, grief, anger, feelings of revenge.

Who has not been through some degree of this?

Who has not prayed from the depth of despair, “Please bring him (or her) back to me?”

And who has not thought, “After all I went through, all the compromises, all the struggle… and now I’m dumped? This is so unfair.”

Then we mourn and pine and go over what we did wrong.

In all fairness, we haven’t been taught a better way. Certainly our love songs encourage this pining.

Yet, mourning the loss of those who have left us and being frozen in the pain of loss is no way to be happy or to open to true love.

Worse yet, sometimes we recover only to be dumped again, or to find ourselves in the role of “dumper” where we hurt the feelings of someone else.

WHAT’S GOING ON?

So what the heck is going on?

And why do we persist in twisting ourselves to stay in a relationship that is a struggle, and then cry when it ends?

More importantly, what can you do about it? Can you get your ex back? How can you get God to help you straighten this mess out? What kind of prayers will actually help you get the love you need?

Here’s the scoop. I hope it will spare you misery.

GOD GAVE EACH OF US FREE WILL

I feel I must start by reminding you that God gave each of us free will and that you must be careful, in your prayer requests, to be sure you are not asking God to impose your own will upon another.

The truth is that God is not going to overrule your former partner’s desire and bring your ex back to you unless it will lead to the greatest joy for all concerned.

Although asking for an ex to come back to us is understandable because it can be so difficult to let go of those people who wish to leave our lives – and you may think that it would be best for that person to come back to you if only the fool would realize it – you cannot know that his or her coming back to you would really be the best thing for either of you.

So you must find a way to let go and open yourself to what God knows is best for you in the long term.

STRUGGLE: AN OMEN

Many of us have been raised to believe that struggle is a normal part of life and that, if something isn’t worth struggling for, it has no value.

As a result, we do not tend to see struggle as a possible clue that, perhaps, we have paired up with a person who is not our very best match.

Yet having to endure a lot of struggle and having to make a lot of compromises with your mate in regard to who you are allowed to be and what you are allowed to do are clues that something is wrong.

Your love relationship should, primarily, be joyful. You should feel safe in being yourself. Your beloved should be, to the best of his or her ability, supporting your expansion and growth as an individual, not thwarting it, and you should be doing the same for your beloved.

If either of you feels stifled or shut down in any way, or if the relationship feels draining or difficult, then your relationship has to change or it will, likely, end.

A relationship has to be happy and life-giving for both parties. Both parties need to feel appreciated, heard and loved. The way you like to give love has to be compatible with the way your partner likes to receive love, and vice-verse.

The adage that you “have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the prince” simply means that we often have to spend a lot of time finding out how we do not want to be treated until we figure out how we do want to be treated.

Once we figure out our preferences, it’s easy to tell if we enjoy spending time with a person or not.

And it becomes easier to tell if someone is just on his or her “best behavior” and temporarily behaving in ways that please us because they like us so well, but which they cannot maintain because those behaviors are simply not part of who they are.

HIGHEST AND BEST GOOD

So, getting back to the situation of having had a partner walk out on you, if it is in the highest and best good of all concerned for the two of you to get back together, then it can happen. There are counselors and courses that cover strategies for learning to listen to your spouse. Certainly investigate those if you want to give it a try.

However, if it isn’t in the highest and best good for both of you to get back together, then it will not happen or, if your ex does return, you will either not be happy or it will not last.

As painful as that may be initially, the best thing to do is realize that if someone has left you, it means he or she was not happy. If he or she was not happy, it is very likely that you were not entirely happy either, whether you faced up to that or not.

When you love, it is easy to live in denial and tell yourself you are happy when you are not.

When you are faced with someone wanting to leave, you may feel, somehow, diminished or made less valuable by that leaving and you may think that you need to do whatever it takes to get your ex back.

When a person leaves you it is easy to forget the struggles you endured and remember only the best times you had with them.

It is also easy to go into panic and fear that you are incapable of having a relationship or that you will not find someone else to love.

It is also a time when you may panic because of financial repercussions. You may feel you need to get your ex back simply to survive.

The truth is that, when someone walks out on you, it is better for that person to leave you sooner than later. The sooner he or she does, the more years you will have to devote to a relationship that is happier and more fulfilling.

The trick is – before you ever enter into a relationship – you would be wise to first pray in and visualize a wonderful relationship, a relationship that lovingly meets all your important emotional and physical needs, a relationship that is in the highest and best good of all concerned – including the happiness of children you may have together, in-laws, step children and the world in general.

RIGHT PRAYER FOR LOVE’S RETURN

If you are currently asking God to send your former spouse or lover or friend back to you, I invite you to restate your prayer request so it is something like the following. Here I use a fictitious name, Fred. Please insert the name and gender pronoun for the person you want back.

“Dear God,

If it is in the highest and best good of all concerned, Fred realizes how wonderful I am, he realizes how much he loves me, he realizes how much he would miss me if I were no longer part of his life, and we are a joyous couple from now on.

“However, if it is not in the highest and best good that we get back together, then help me release him in joy and love, and guide me in attracting a life partner who is a joyful, loving match for me and for whom I am a joyful, loving match.

“I thank You so much for bringing this wonderful new person into my life. I love and appreciate him with all my heart and he loves and cherishes me with all his being.

“Our love is beautiful, joy-filled and mutual. We are best friends and life partners. We celebrate our physical aliveness together. We have enormous fun and create a beautiful life.

Thank You for all this and more.

Amen.”

Create an affirmative prayer that has this kind of language, and then invest some time, every day, in sitting by yourself and speaking this prayer.

After you speak it, close your eyes and joyfully visualize yourself experiencing what you would want in an ideal relationship, which will be the best relationship you can imagine.

If it feels good, spend about ten to fifteen minutes a day visualizing and affirming the good feelings you will have with your new partner.

If you want to spend more time doing it because it feels good or is a lot of fun to do, go ahead. If ten minutes is too long before visualizing feels like work, then experiment with a shorter period of time.

The rule of thumb is that it must be fun and energizing, whether you do it for one minute or one hour.

WHAT YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP

So what do you want in a love relationship? If you do not know, you will save yourself heartache and misery by figuring it out.

Have you ever wondered why we have a fifty percent divorce rate in the United States? It’s because people do not take the time to figure out how they want to feel and experience, day to day, in their relationships.

Consider that when you do not know what you want, you will not recognize its absence.

Yet, once you know what you want and visualize yourself experiencing it, you will quickly be able to see whether your experience with the person in front of you is matching the feelings in your visualizations or not, regardless of whether you are on a first date or bump into a stranger in a coffee shop.

So I invite you to think very carefully about how you want to be treated. Get clear on what kind of treatment and behaviors makes you feel joyful and loved.

For instance, imagine how you want a conversation to feel. Imagine how you want to be spoken to. Imagine how you want to be looked at and touched.

Do you like to hold hands? Then see your loved one reaching for your hand as you walk along the street.

Do you like to receive flowers? Then imagine that your future spouse bringing you a lovely bouquet every Friday.

Would it be wonderful to be excited about the same kinds of music and do things together with friends? Then imagine the two of you attending concerts, going out for coffee with friends afterward, and having a wonderful, exhilarating time in sharing your excitement and ideas.

Do you want children? Then see your partner enthusiastic about having children and being a great parent to them.

Do you want to travel? Then get some travel videos out of the library and, during your visualizations, imagine walking through those streets with your partner and having great times.

It’s not necessary to go through a big list-building exercise with this.

Just think about the kinds of things you love to do and want to do. Think about what makes a moment special for you. Think about whether you would like a partner to share those activities and events with you.

If it would add to your fun and to your enjoyment of life, then close your eyes and imagine having those experiences and sharing them with a special someone. See yourself laughing, joyful, and feeling blessed.

IMAGINATION TROUBLE

Imagination is, perhaps, your greatest asset. God’s gift to you, it is a tool for creating a magnificent life quickly. Yet, if you are not used to thinking about what you want or imagining yourself enjoying those things, then it may take just a little time getting your imagination muscle working.

First, identify what you do not want.

Simply let yourself remember an experience that did not feel good to you in some relationship.

Maybe your partner was always late and made you wait to be picked up when he or she could have arrived on time.

Maybe your spouse or partner had a habit of ignoring you when you first walked in the house, or ignored you to watch some worthless television show.

Identify the worse-feeling experiences and imagine the opposite of them.

Then build a visualization on that.

Opposite examples for the unwanted behaviors above might be as follows:

1) See your spouse always on time. Feel the relief and pleasure you feel at seeing the car pull up. See the smile flashed at you. Feel the sweet kiss brushed upon your cheek before your beloved puts the car in gear. Maybe there’s a cup of hot coffee waiting for you. Maybe your favorite music is playing. Maybe , because you love to dine out, you hear the words, “I have a surprise for you,” and then news of a dinner reservation.

2) Your spouse always comes to the door when he sees you have arrived, gives you a kiss on the cheek, and looks to help with anything you might be carrying. You breath in the scent of his aftershave and feel totally happy.

3) Any time you enter a room, your beloved gives you an “I’m glad to see you” smile and you feel a warm, loved feeling because you know that your presence is a plus in his or her life.

4) Whenever watching television, your beloved always looks up to give you a smile and mutes the program to check in with you and whether you want to watch, too, or if you have other things you are going to be doing.

5) Or, maybe, you sit down for a minute, get a kiss on the cheek and say, “I was just going to start dinner,” and your beloved clicks off the tube and says, “Sounds good. How about if I help?”

Your visualizations are up to you. The sky’s the limit. You can make them as romantic and loving as you like. Nothing is too extravagant. Also, since God does not judge you and sexual incompatibility can wreck a marriage, I strongly encourage you to visualize what you want to happen in the bedroom, as well.

Just make your visualizations joyful, loving and light.

Caution: do not think too long about the things in the past that you did not like because you do not want to create more of that. This is why going over and over the negatives in a relationship never helps create anything better. Quickly identify their opposites and create positive visualizations.

If you really cannot seem to visualize, then use Mind Movies to help you. It’s a lot of fun.

YOUR IDEAL “PLAYMATE”

We are each looking for a “playmate” in life, someone we can be best friends with and have fun with as we experience life.

We want someone who appreciates what we enjoy and who can help us understand and appreciate our life experiences better.

So imagine the types of things you want to do with your partner, and the way you want him to show you affection and concern.

IMAGINE WHAT YOU MOST WANT

Imagine your relationship as easy and fun and fulfilling.

Imagine yourself feeling cherished, deeply loved and valued.

Imagine yourself appreciating, loving and valuing your partner so that both your needs are met and you become strong sources of support and love for one another.

You will do yourself far more good through taking this approach than through pining after someone who, perhaps, is not your best match and, because of this truth, has left you.

THERE IS SOMEONE FOR YOU

The world is a huge place with so many people looking to love and be loved.

My wish for you is that, rather than hanging on to the past, you will open to your perfect match so you may experience the love, joy and right companionship that your Creator has cued up for you.

In summary, here’s the foolproof method for attracting the right life partner to you:

1) Create an exciting new story for yourself about what you deserve and want.

2) Turn it into an affirmative prayer which you speak in fun and playfulness.

3) Visualize your ideal relationship as though you have it now, leaving nothing important out.

4) Infuse your visualizations of relating with color, scent and feeling.

5) Play uplifting, happy music in the background as you speak your affirmative prayers and spend time visualizing your new, happy future.

6) Should you feel any uncertainty, quell it with the phrases “I will recognize my ideal mate when I see him (or her)” and “I will know what I want in my ideal relationship when I see it.”

7) Spend time every day speaking and visualizing what you want, as above.

If you want to be absolutely sure that “this is the one” and that you are not just intoxicated by your new love’s attention when he or she shows up, then keep affirming and visualizing during your courtship, all the way until you exchange vows.

God always says “yes” to what will, in the long run, bring you greatest joy. So begin, today, to release the old unhappiness by beginning to say “yes” to a new vision of happy relating.

Having used these techniques to attract my husband, I know from personal experience that they work, and they can work very quickly. Six weeks from the time I began praying and visualizing my perfect mate and how we would interact, the man who was the perfect match for me showed up in my life, ready to commit.

So I assure you that your ideal mate is out there, looking for you. Just give God a chance to bring your you the love and joy you both deserve and you will connect sooner than you expect.

Love and blessings –

www.prayerforce.org

Lifting personal and world energies since 2003.

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123 comments

1 frank { 01.30.14 at }

i love renee so much and i miss her i just hope if i can’t have her back i hope she happy but do beleve that the deoms she with right now will hurt her please pray for us

2 frank { 01.30.14 at }

thank you

3 Clyo Beck { 02.21.14 at }

Dearest Monica,

From all you have written, it appears that your boyfriend’s feelings were, perhaps, not as strong for you as yours were for him.

This would make sense as the more we do for a person, the more attached we become to that person. (It’s a matter not just of emotional investment, but of actual time investment.) It sounds like you did a lot for him and he did relatively nothing for you; so it would be natural for you to feel far more attached to him than he does to you.

Now that his father has died, whatever feelings he had for you – rooted in having fun – seem to have been drowned by his sense of loss.

If he loved you, he would seek you out for comfort, but he isn’t doing that. He isn’t even giving you the courtesy of introductions.

It sounds like you are a giver who has a need to be understood, and to understand other people’s motivations.

There’s nothing wrong with being an empathetic, detailed communicator, but when you are and your boyfriend suddenly clams up and ditches you with no explanation, it’s crazy-making.

There is nothing more infuriating and hurtful than to be abandoned without a word of explanation. You long for closure. It’s only natural. But it sounds like this guy isn’t mature enough – or doesn’t care enough about you – to give it to you. Through the death of his father he’s discovered he has emotions and he is blindsided. Now he doesn’t want to deal with even a hint of yours – and with none of your needs – so he’s bailed.

First thing: there is nothing wrong with you.

Second: Let him go. You will never be happy with someone who forces you to play guessing games with him as to whether your relationship is off or on.

Third: Realize that you deserve much better.

Fourth: Make a list of all the qualities you want in your next boyfriend – including traits such as thoughtfulness, openness, empathy, good communication skills, etc. – and resolve that your next boyfriend will have them all so that you feel cherished and appreciated by him. (Hint: do not feel you are being too demanding. Ask for what you want – and all you want.)

Fifth: Try not to let your heart close down just because this person stomped on it and made you feel worthless.

Sixth: Whether you use EFT, Ask and Receive, hypnosis, affirmations, NLP – or whatever methods call to you – do something to increase your feelings of self-worth. When you truly know inside that you deserve to be adored and cherished, you will be.

4 Clyo Beck { 02.22.14 at }

Dearest Ating,

I find I am shaking my head, wondering how you are willing to pledge your heart to a man who has made it so plain to you that you are not his first choice, but – perhaps – someone he might make do with if no one else is available.

Do you not deserve better? Do you not deserve to be adored by a man who would be devastated if you left him?

Your story demonstrates the folly of praying to be reunited with a person who is in love with someone else.

My dear, you do not have this man’s heart and, from the sound of it, you never will.

You are exerting your will over him through prayer and intercession, but you will never be happy with the results.

Have you read the scriptural passage warning us not to throw pearls before swine?

Well, that means do not lay your heart and body before someone who doesn’t value you.

Give this man up. He doesn’t love you or value you. Should he marry you, he will never be faithful and it will bring you nothing but heartache.

Do whatever it takes to get over him. Then make a list of the qualities that you want in a husband, turn it over to God, and begin praying for the one who loves you truest and best to come to you, one whom you will love with equal ardor so your relationship is beautiful and mutual.

When you compose your list, be sure to put every quality you want in your husband on it. If you want him to be kind and considerate and bring you flowers on your birthday, then list all that. If you want him to be generous, list that. If you want him to be faithful, list that. If you want him to want children and have a good job so he is able to support them and give them a beautiful home, then list that. Also be sure to include how you want him to touch you, and how you want to feel when he makes love to you. (Do not neglect to list factors which affect sexual compatibility, or you may regret it.)

When you have defined all you want in a husband and how you want to feel in your relationship, sit for 20 minutes every day and imagine this new man in your life. Imagine him treating you the way you would love to be treated. Imagine yourself together. Imagine him cherishing and adoring you.

Do this every day, and have fun with it. You will know you are doing it right if you enjoy doing the exercise.

Whether it takes six weeks, six months or six years for the right man to come to you, I cannot say. I assure you, however, that if you are faithful in this exercise and make it fun, you will attract a man to you who has all the qualities you want.

To do anything else is to waste your time and assure you will never be happily married.

I pray you have ears to hear this truth without being hurt, and you will allow God to bring you together with the man who is right for you, instead of pursuing a lost cause and winding up with a broken heart.

I send you much love,
Clyo

5 jay { 05.03.14 at }

My heart is broken and I am hurting so bad,cause the man I loved walked out my life! Its been a little over a year since he left. I can’t seem to get over him and I just really want him back!!!! I am just so lost and I know God can change him!! My life is just upside down and I still find myself crying over him! If it’s not meant to b I just want God to take this hurt out my heart so I can move on with my life!!! Heart broken still after 1year!!

6 Glenda { 06.04.14 at }

Dear Cylo,

I am broken and crushed. My partner of 7 years just left me with another woman. The hard part is i know her coz she was my friend that i trusted so much. We have a 5 year old son and she has too and they play together and things developed as she start showing interest on him during those times that we are down in our relationship. He didn’t bother telling me how he feel then coz he thought there’s no chance we can patch things up but i know we could of if only he was telling me so i know what went wrong. Anyway, she came to the picture showing interest and he fall for that and lately told me he wants to be with her coz he loves her and he don’t love me anymore. I was shocked beyond belief! As of this moment i still want him back coz i still love him so much but i don’t know what to do. He made his decision and i am still hoping this is just lust and he will come back. I feel so lost and alone, i pray that he will come to his senses and come back.

7 JAIME { 09.11.14 at }

PLEASE PRAY THAT MATT AND I ARE REUNITED. WE ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER-HE GOT SCARED AND I MISS HIM DEARLY..

8 Juliet { 10.11.14 at }

Dear clyo beck,
I am broken hearted many times but I am still married and I left my ex husband for some reasons but I don’t want him back. I want to love again and find my soulmate who really love me in return, please help me to find my partner in life that who really accept me whoever am i , who trully me in real and how I really wish that were compatible each other. But the problem is I am unlucky about love, they go disappear, hurt me, left me or else we are not meant to be. Hope I can find my true love, because I want to be happy the rest of my life with by his side…..I am so lonely and alone. Hope there is a man for me out there who really love, care and nice.
Thanks! And more power to you.
May god bless you always,

Juliet

9 Sophie { 11.22.14 at }

Hello Clyo.

I feel blessed to have stumbles upon your blog.
I have been depressed for quite a few months or maybe a few years now.
There is this guy that I love. We are not together anymore as I have to give him up for the sake of my family most specially my mom. This was 3 yrs ago. He is the only guy that I really felt loved and adored compared to my other ex’s.

I have to breakup with him because my mom doesn’t approve of him (let’s call him B). She is very fixated on a negative family history B had, which is actually not his family’s fault time just got hard for them. I tried to hold on to my relationship with B. But eventually I gave up for the sake of my mom, because she said if I will really chose him she will kill herself. I thinking of the welfare of every one in the family I then chose to give up the relationship. I was devastated, angry, sad, I ended up pushing away B. He is my best friend my soulmate. Actually he asked me back last year, but because of my fear of my parents rejection, I turned him down with a heavy heart. Thinking that is best for everyone.

just this month I found out B has a new relationship. I went back to being depressed wanting him back. My mind is such a mess there is there is a feeling of how will I defend him from my parents. I don’t want the arguments with my parents to happen again. I hope that they could accept him. But he is now in a relationship I don’t want the other girl to be hurt. But I really want him back.

Sometimes I don’t know if I’m saying the right prayer or not. I want to believe that good things will come. In my mind the hurtful past always comes back and confuse me with the “what if’s”

Maybe you can help me with my prayer. How to believe. I still wish that he comes back to me.

10 Jess { 03.31.15 at }

Hi,

Few years ago I fell in love with someone who I thought was the love of my life, and I loved so much that I thought I could marry him. Over time, I realized he was not who he appeared to be and was very different from the kind of man I deserved and wanted. Although I realized this, because I was going thru such a hard time of my own I held onto the relationship because it’s all I had going… sometime later, I hit rock bottom, I was having issues in my family, career and finances – everything was the worst it has ever been in my life.. and that made me act worse towards him, although I deeply loved him I treated him badly too.. and without holding my hand despite that, he gave up on me and left – after all, his plans worked out perfectly so I suppose I was just becoming an additional burden. He stopped talking to me and just gave up. I know he loved me too, but I suppose not enough to keep going.

God entered my life at this time and transformed it completely and within a year everything just turned around – career, finances – it all worked out perfectly and I am a true believer now, attempting to get closer to Christ everyday. I forgave him and embraced him as a friend and with Gods love – the past was truly behind me.

Now that we have both got over the pain of the breakup and are in good places in our separate lives, we have become good friends. We talk regularly and share an amicable relationship. I cannot help but feel like there is so much love still there though. It’s been a few years and neither of us have been with anyone else. I have completely grown as a person within this period, but he has not, in fact seems like he’s become more and more selfish. Despite that, the bond and love we share seems so strong. He is also of a different faith so I know he’s not the man for me, as long as he is a non-believer. It’s obvious he still has feelings for me too, though… is it wrong of me to keep hoping and praying that God will somehow work in his life and change his heart, show him God is real, making him a better person/believer and eventually bring us together one day? Should I just cut him off completely/not even be friends and focus on the future only?

11 Eric { 04.10.15 at }

Hello,
It’s been a month since me and my ex broke up, she told me she needed a break until summer which was said a month ago. We broke up after 2 years becuase I began to show unloving feelings taking her for granted and not treating her how she was supposed to be. The break was designed for me to change my ways which I have been doing but in the process of it I have felt the need at certain points to contact her due to the feeling of missing her so much. I have thought about her everyday and a lot of the day. I feel sad and regret for being bad to her torwards the end. As the break is at a midpoint with only about a month remaining till summer, she told me that she is beginning to move on finding happiness in other ways. I was crushed after I heard that and am still feeling that way today. I love this girl more than anything and still wish to see her in the summer as im sure that I will never take her for granted again but i just don’t know how to do it. If she just gave me the chance to see her I know I could make her happier like how we used to be together before the unlovingness blocked the image. I didmt realize my actions would lead to her doing this and now I wish I could just go back and tell her how I actually felt before she broke up with me.

12 Sue { 04.21.15 at }

Hi Clyo,

I am very troubled. I am currently in a relationship for about a year now. Before we started the relationship, we prayed and seek God for His confirmation and blessing. We both received God’s peace to start. My bf is a very godly man, he is very sensitive to the voice of God. Always wanted to do great things got God. We had a wonderful and memorable 9 months of relationship until he suddenly asked to breakup because he felt God is saying to breakup. I am confused. I don’t understand. Why would God started this and wanting to end just like that hurting people. We really did pray and confirm with God before we start. Why would God suddenly change His mind?

I don’t want to breakup because I believe that God has started this relationship for a reason. Spoken to my bf, he is agreeable to continue to pray until end of the year and see if God changes his heart. As of now, the decision is to breakup.

What should I do within these few months why waiting for him to come back to me?

Thanks!

13 Clyo Beck { 04.24.15 at }

Dearest Sue,

God didn’t change His mind. Your boyfriend changed his. He has come to a new conclusion about what he wants. It is his decision. It is, of course, convenient to ascribe his decision to God, but that leaves you confused about God.

Answer this question: Do you want a man who changes his mind but does not take responsibility for doing so?

I hope your answer is “No.” Because either your ex is hiding behind God or confused about who and what God is.

Here is the truth: God wants your happiness. God holds the vibration of what you create in your wanting. Then the Law of Attraction begins to bring the picture together so you can have what you want.

Your boyfriend wants something different than he has. He has come to a conclusion that he can be happier without you. Source, of course, will support that and begin calling him to a vibrational match more in keeping with his current preferences. But it isn’t God or Source who calls the shots. It’s us. We tell God – through our experiences and automatic asking as a result – what we would prefer. So it is your boyfriend who has made the decision, not God.

What should you do? This:

1) Realize that any negative emotion you feel right now is the result of being out of alignment with your Source. Your Source loves you – cherishes you – and knows that all good things are coming to you. Source knows there is a better relationship waiting for you. Source is calling you forward, toward it. The question is, will you go? Or will you keep focusing on the past? Will you try to hang on to a man who, for whatever reasons, has decided it is time to move on?

2) Do not waste a moment of your precious life asking God to change this man’s heart. It is not his heart that needs to be changed.

Instead, thank God that you had, as you say, a wonderful and memorable relationship for nine months. Congratulate yourself on this wonderful manifestation. Many people are still waiting for such an experience. Your experience proves that it’s possible for you to be in a satisfying relationship. Give yourself credit.

3) Do your best to understand that your happiness is not dependent upon whether or not you are in relationship with this man or any man. Realize that you have the power, in this moment – and in every moment hereafter – to find something to focus on that feels better than ideas such as “he dumped me” or “God doesn’t want me to be happy after all” or “I guess I wasn’t good enough” or “I’ll never find someone I love as much” – all the kinds of ideas that we tend to think when a relationship ends.

4) Decide that, no matter what, you are going to train your thoughts so you feel good about who you are and about what life can bring. This is crucial because your thoughts about who you are and what you deserve affect your Vibrational Point of Attraction. So all those negative thoughts I listed – you want to think their opposites. You want to train your mind to think thoughts that make you feel good, optimistic, and positive about your experiences so far and excited about what’s to come.

5) Make lists of all that is positive about yourself. Remind yourself that you are capable of attracting and being in a wonderful relationship. You’ve proved that to yourself.

6) Make lists of all the things you love in life and all the things that are working for you. In other words, focus your thoughts on appreciation. Did you see a beautiful sky? That’s a gift. Do you have running water? That’s a blessing over a billion people do not have. Appreciate it. Did you see a beautiful flower? Write down what you loved about it. Revel in it.

Do not think that appreciating a flower is a tiny thing that is of no importance in the larger scheme. By training your mind to focus on whatever is beautiful, on whatever you appreciate, on whatever is working for you in your life, you are automatically shifting your Vibrational Point of Attraction to a higher place.

This is why we are told in Philippians 4:8:

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

We are instructed to focus our minds on what is beautiful and good for a reason – and that reason is because what we think on creates our point of attraction!

As your point of attraction steadily shifts you will begin to feel better and better. The bonus to this is that you will eventually get to a place where you will be able to receive what you desire: you will be in alignment with a relationship that is an improved version of what you have already experienced and it will appear.

7) Expect that, right now, you are attracting that better match. Expect that it is inevitable that you will rendezvous with someone who will want a long term, stable relationship as you do.

8) Find things that are fun to do. If it’s fun – and makes you feel better doing it – visualize the type of guy/relationship you want. For instance, if what you want is to be married to a man who is wild about you and with whom you are wildly in love, then spend a few minutes every day having fun visualizing your beautiful wedding and feeling the joy and love that will accompany that experience.

9) Realize you have a bit of work to do in regard to improving your ideas about God’s consistency. We’ve been taught that God is very inconsistent (shows mercy here, punishes there); so it is no wonder that you would experience this idea coming through in this way.

What I know: God is consistent. God wants you to be happy. God doesn’t play tricks on you. The problem is that we all have been exposed to negative beliefs about God (and about ourselves) that attract matching experiences. We all have been taught to question our worthiness, to have doubts about whether we deserve to have what we want. Until those beliefs are changed – until they are transcended with better, more joyous and true feelings – we will keep on getting disappointed and telling ourselves we’re confused and God cannot be trusted.

10) If you want to know what your Vibrational Point of Attraction is, look at how your life is unfolding. Know that as you align with your Source you will lose your doubts about your worthiness and lovableness. You will lose your doubts about God’s loving you and calling you toward things that make you happy. As you align more and more with the pure and joyful love of Source, your point of attraction will rise. As a result – along with the joy of feeling better and better every day – better and better things will come to you. That is Law.

So, if you want things to unfold differently, turn away from what isn’t working and imagine your life as you want it.

Turn away from thoughts that bring you down and find thoughts that raise you up.

Accept that you are the one creating your life. And you do not need permission from God to want what you want. You were made to experience, come to conclusions about what you want, focus on the joy of their unfolding and receive. This is how your life is meant to be lived.

Understand that The Law of Attraction doesn’t know the difference between you focusing on what’s really going on in your reality or you imagining your ideal life. Whatever you think about or believe or – most importantly – feel – the Law will bring matching experiences to you.

So when you begin to think thoughts that make you feel better, that’s a start toward improving your life experiences. In other words, the advice “when life hands you lemons, make lemonade” is the best advice around. Find something good about the situation or turn your attention from the situation to things you like to think about, do and experience.

Deliberately pull yourself up from the muck of despair into something that feels a little bit better and keep on from there, day after day.

A good strategy is to find a brand new hobby or job or sport – anything – that you love to do, and then do it as much as is pleasing to you.

A pleasing activity can go a long way to shift your focus.

Bottom line:

Get your mind off the past and “what could have been.”

Put your mind on a glorious future.

Wish the guy well in your mind and release him.

Train yourself to turn away from thoughts of him. One day you’ll be able to think of him and feel neutral or happy, but now is not that time. (If you find yourself thinking about him and feeling good – happy and appreciative of his good aspects – then that’s okay.)

This is a process. Be gentle with yourself. Be loving to yourself. Be kind to yourself. Don’t set goals or beat yourself up when you find yourself feeling sad. Just change the mental dial and find something that feels better to think about.

You will get over the pain of the break up and missing him with these techniques. Should you want to dissolve the pain faster, use EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) if you want to give it a try.

Know this: there is nothing wrong with you. Your work in the next few months is to learn to love yourself as Source loves you. The eternal you is one with Source. You are Source energy. You deserve all good things. There is no question about your value or worthiness.

Ask your Source – your Higher Self – to infuse you with love and joy. Declare your intention to love yourself and live a happy life. You can intend to live a happy life, you know. You can affirm you are receiving guidance and wisdom and love and joy from this wise and eternal part of yourself, the real you, and you will get to a point where you never suffer confusion again. You will know you are worthy and lovable and never again attract another man who will do this.

Bottom line, you’ve already asked and your new relationship is a given. Your job now is to love yourself, support yourself, nourish yourself.

Strive to become positive and patient.

Look for things in your life to enjoy and distract you.

Trust that good things always come to you; that life always works out for you.

Let things unfold for you in trust and faith.

And thank God that the guy who changed his mind didn’t keep you on the hook for nine years before doing so.

I promise you, if you will make the decision that you are going to leave this experience behind and reach for happiness in every moment through training your thoughts upward, you will raise your vibration and gradually create a far better-feeling life than you had which, in turn, will take you to the relationship you desire.

Much love,
Clyo

14 Clyo Beck { 04.24.15 at }

Dearest Eric,

Please read my response to Sue here http://www.prayerforce.org/prayerblog/2011/04/01/how-to-pray-for-love/#comment-1963.

My advice to you is really the same. If you want to be a vibrational match to the gal you love, you cannot stay in the miserable emotions in which you currently find yourself. We gravitate toward people based upon our feelings and beliefs (which create a Vibrational Point of Attraction). You are feeling bad about yourself and she is feeling good about herself. Those vibrations don’t match. If you want to be with her or any positive, loving girl you have to get yourself into a better-feeling place.

If you felt better about yourself, Eric – if you knew that the greater part of you is wise and beautiful and loving and amazing – and is the real you, the you that has not been dragged down by people telling you what to do and how to be – you would have never taken your girl for granted. You would have been aligned with the real part of you, the eternal part of you, and heard the guidance of your Source. You would have then naturally appreciated your girl and attracted reciprocal appreciation from her.

But living in the world creates a gap between the two aspects of your one self (your human self and your Source Self) so that most of us lose our way and, because no one teaches us what’s going on, we wind up getting beaten up by life. This happens simply because we don’t know what’s going on and don’t realize how essential it is to align with our own selves. In fact, your relationship with You is far more important than any relationship with anyone else. Get that right and all others will fall into place.

My advice specific to you:

Don’t beat up on yourself about taking your girl for granted. You take yourself for granted. And if you weren’t all that nice to her at times, that’s because you are not all that nice to yourself at times. You put up with feeling crummy a lot of the time. You criticize yourself. Again, you do it because you are unaware of what you are doing. But that, I trust, will shortly change.

To truly be happy you must train your thoughts so they support you, not undercut you.

You must learn to be gentle and kind and supportive to yourself before you can naturally – and consistently – be gentle and kind and supportive to others.

I know you are in pain, but please read and follow my advice to Sue (adapting it, of course, to you and your situation) because you must rise out of your pain as soon as you can.

You deserve to be happy. You deserve a far bigger and better life than you are currently living.

You deserve someone who adores you.

Learn to adore yourself first. You can’t find happiness with another if you have do not have access to the well of happiness inside you.

Go read that post. See if it makes sense to you. Follow the advice because it will work if you give it a chance.

You have an exciting, beautiful, creative life ahead of you. Learn the power of your thoughts, and how to change them so they are aligned with the love and joy in the greater part of you, and all you desire will come to you, I promise.

Much love,
Clyo

15 Pia { 06.01.15 at }

Hi, I just went through a break up that I caused while under the influence. My boyfriend finally had enough and has been going through so much also. I had asked and begged for forgiveness and although he has forgiven me and says he still loves me, he said he cannot be with me right now because I am a distraction he cannot afford. I would like one more chance to change for the better if only he could give me one last chance. We are good together except for my mistake. I pushed him over the edge and we both cracked. I am so sad and lonely and distraught. I i have lost hope. Please pray for me and Chris and our healing. Thank you.

16 Clyo Beck { 06.15.15 at }

Dearest Jess –

I hope you can “hear” what I am about to write.

Remember that we are told: “Judge not lest ye be judged.”

You, perhaps, do not realize it, but you are judging your friend. You are judging him to have the wrong faith, and have called him selfish.

It is not your friend’s heart that needs to be changed, but your own. Your friend’s disbelief is a thorn to your own belief because it is not yet strong enough to be unfazed by disbelief.

Ask for your own faith and love to be strengthened.

In regard to whether you should or should not remain friends, here is the litmus test:

Do you enjoy being with this person? If you feel love and joy in your friendship, then why would you give it up?

If, however, you are suffering in the friendship because you want something more but do not believe that can ever be, then my question to you is: why would you want to continue to suffer?

It is of the utmost importance that you decide what feels good and what feels bad, and you do things that feel good and avoid doing what feels bad.

It is vitally important because feeling good aligns you with God while feeling bad moves you out of alignment with God. This is why judgment is to be avoided. When we judge, we move out of unconditional love and that does not feel nearly as good as feeling supportive and loving of a person.

You do not have to learn to love what you find to be unpleasant. If you cannot love this person unconditionally without judgment, then spend less time with him.

Also, the very best way to create a wonderful future is to completely enjoy your NOW. In every moment.

That often requires that we re-frame our thoughts about what we are looking at so that we are not unhappy about what we are seeing.

You are seeing your friend in a way that God does not see him.

God does not see your friend as off track or selfish. God knows that your friend will find his way, in his own time, and that he is perfect where he is, right now, in his own journey and process. Just because you have an understanding of God does not mean that it is a requirement that your friend have a similar understanding right now, in this moment. (Because he is a different person from you, he will have a slightly different understanding anyway.)

Bottom line, do what makes you happy. If it makes you happy to be friends, stay friends. If it makes you miserable, break it off.

Anytime you say a person has to change before you can be in a relationship with him, you have pretty much doomed that possibility. People hate to be told to change. And none of us is the all-wise arbiter of other people’s lives so we are able to know what is best for them.

Your friend is following his own guidance, in his own way. He may thrive or he may not. If he destroys himself through lack of belief, he will “get it” when he leaves his body. He will then become aware that the greater part of him is pure love energy and that he is one with God.

You see, he cannot get it wrong because he is an eternal being. He will realize his own eternal nature and the existence of Source sooner or later.

Just love him as he is and enjoy him as he is if you can. If you can’t, move on.

Much love,
Clyo

17 Clyo Beck { 06.16.15 at }

Dearest Sophie – my apologies. This is a very late reply. I wonder what has happened in the interim? I have faith that your guidance is working and that you have a sense of what is right for you at this point. Still, I will share my thoughts.

The first clue that you had that you were going against your own being was when you turned your sweetie down “with a heavy heart” and then found yourself feeling “devastated, angry, and sad.”

You were not following the love in your heart or you would have never turned him down.

You cannot sacrifice your own happiness and have it be “best for everyone.” God makes no unequal contracts. Likely – quite frankly – your turning him down has not increased the happiness of your parents or anyone else in any way. It, likely, hasn’t proven to produce any good for anyone, much less you.

What’s happened here is not that you have made a worthy sacrifice, but that you have been bullied out of your own happiness. No doubt you were probably told you were selfish for wanting someone of which they did not approve. I don’t see it that way. I see them being selfish for demanding that you give up your happiness based upon their preferences for a mate for you.

Sadly, some parents will, selfishly, try to control their children even if it means destroying their child’s happiness. This is the case here.

Sophie, if you ever read this: follow your heart from now on, and go with your joy. Live your own life; do not live your life for your parents. They have their own life to live. You cannot give them joy by killing your own, you can only kill your own; so I implore you: do not be the murderer of your own joy.

As I see the situation:

1) You cannot change your parents; so do not try. Let them be in their own judgment and misery, if they choose to be. If all they are going to do is make you miserable, ignore them when they try. Think of something pleasant. Find something to be amused about. If it’s impossible to feel good around them, then spend as little time as possible around them.

2) Choose to be happy. Do you know that you are the one who chooses to be happy? It’s up to you to choose people and activities and thoughts and goals that make you happy. Leave those who would squash your happiness out of the equation. You will never please them, anyway. You will only make yourself miserable, as you describe.

3) Believe that a loving, wonderful soul mate is coming to you. It may be someone new, at this point, and that’s okay. We aren’t given just one chance at love. If we “blow” one relationship, God will bring us together with someone else who may be even more wonderful.

4) If your old flame wants you back and you want to be with that person and the thought of it makes you happy and feels right for you (not for anyone else), then do it.

So many people are looking for love. When you find your mate – one who loves you as you love back – it’s your obligation to your own happiness to stand up and appreciate that person.

Bottom line: Do not let others bully you out of your happiness, no matter who they are. Do not give them that power over you.

Imagine yourself loved and happy, free and unconcerned with the judgment of others.

You deserve happiness!

Much love,
Clyo

18 Ashley T. Davis { 11.19.15 at }

Hi,

I really enjoyed reading this. This year has been the hardest, saddest year of my life of 33 years, and I turned to pray to help me through. And I must say it’s working! I started this past year finding prays on the internet, and the one you formatted is beautiful! Thank you. Even though my heart is broken really bad right now, and I have my own faults to work on, pray has been the key to creating my happiness, and now creating a love of my own.

19 Anonymous { 12.04.15 at }

Dear Heavenly Father,

If it is in the highest and best good of all concerned, H.C. Jr realizes how wonderful I am, he realizes how much he loves me, he realizes how much he would miss me if I were no longer part of his life, and we are a joyous couple from now on.

“However, if it is not in the highest and best good that we get back together, then help me release him in joy and love, and guide me in attracting a life partner who is a joyful, loving match for me and for whom I am a joyful, loving match.

“I thank You so much for bringing this wonderful new person into my life. I love and appreciate him with all my heart and he loves and cherishes me with all his being.

“Our love is beautiful, joy-filled and mutual. We are best friends and life partners. We celebrate our physical aliveness together. We have enormous fun and create a beautiful life.

Thank You for all this and more. In Jesus name I pray.

Amen.”

20 M { 01.04.16 at }

After almost 5 years my fiance left, because of my crazy angry outbursts if I drank too much. For the most part other than these episodes we were fine. He was very ill for 2 years prior to and I was the sole provider and care taker.In those 2 years he lost almost all. I suppose being that the world was thrown on my shoulders it was a bit much. He left a week before my daughters wedding, yes he attended the ceremony but not the reception. No I did not see him there because obliviously I would not take my eyes off of my daughter. Anyways he moved out & took his furniture a few weeks later (to put in storage) until his new place was available. I miss him dearly, Feel so bad for all the awful things I said to him in my stupor. Like get out of my house etc. Now I feel so terrible. He did speak to me a few weeks ago with my counselor ( whom I am now seeing for my past unresolved issues) but basically that was the 1st time in almost 2 months. Now I will occasionally get a text due to the holidays but that’s it. I have prayed daily for months for forgiveness and for God to help restore his love and to forgive me. My heart bleeds in pain for what I have done, I impatiently wait for God to answer my prayers. When I saw him on Xmas Eve he cried & said he loves me but…. How & when will he answer my prayers? I feel as if my evil past has cost me the love of my life….Plz Help

21 Clyo Beck { 01.23.16 at }

Dear One,

I hope you can receive this and truly understand what I am saying.

Know this: God has forgiven you; so you can stop asking God for forgiveness. It’s done. In fact, to God, there is nothing to forgive because God understands what we go through down here and how we lose our way.

What is necessary in order for things to resolve is for YOU to forgive YOU.

I suggest that you begin by working on seeing yourself as someone who has stumbled, not someone who is evil or who has done evil.

You are not evil. The core of you is infinite love. You are pure love energy beneath the filters of confusion and self-condemnation that you – like so many of us – have taken on without knowing the harm they do.

It’s vital that you resolve to learn to love yourself. It’s vital that you learn how to be kind to yourself in your mind. You must forgive yourself 70 times 70 for everything you think you have done wrong.

Why? Because you cannot give to others what you cannot give to yourself. Did you know that?

You cannot give unconditional love to another without first giving it to yourself.

The reason you were mean to your fiance is because you are mean to yourself in your mind. I suspect you have set a pretty high bar for yourself – an impossible bar – and continually fault yourself for not being something that you were told you “should” be.

I’m not blaming you for it. It’s what you – and so many of us – were taught.

We all fall. We all lose our temper. Even Jesus lost his temper.

Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself.

When you truly feel tenderness and love for yourself you will not feel the need to drink so much.

When you forgive yourself for drinking, you will begin to be able to feel better and be able to do things that make you feel far better than drinking does.

So how do you start? With baby steps.

For instance, if you think a thought of self-criticism or condemnation, stop. Stop criticizing yourself. Just stop and breathe. Then see if you can reach for a kinder thought that makes you feel better about you and who you are.

Here is the key to successful living: learn to like and love yourself. Do not compare yourself to others. Do not hold yourself up to others’ standards.

You drank for a reason. You were trying to create happiness or escape from unhappiness.

Instead of drinking to do that – which almost never works – train your mind to think better thoughts about you and what you can expect out of life. In other words, find thoughts that soothe you and make you feel better.

Your work is not to give up drinking.

Your work is to think good thoughts about yourself and to build faith that better things await you.

Do that and drinking will fall away on its own.

Soothe yourself 24/7. Make it your job to comfort and soothe yourself as you would a lonely, frightened child. Give yourself at least that much compassion. Over time you will feel better. As you feel better you will choose better.

There is nothing wrong with you. We all get lost, mostly because we try to meet other people’s expectations about who we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to do. Seek, therefore, your own happiness and approval above all things.

Sometimes a person can find happiness in serving others, in finding someone else to help who is worse off.

The important thing is to get your mind off your troubles and on to something that feels better to think about. So either find things to think about that make you feel happier or find someone to help so that you are too busy to think about past troubles.

Most people do not realize that the thoughts they think are a choice. They do not know that they are free to reject everything that they have been taught that makes them feel bad about who they are and choose different thoughts.

You can choose to stop thinking all these painful thoughts, and I suggest you find substitutes for them because they just keep your situation – and your pain – alive.

Turn your thoughts to more pleasant matters. Let what has happened go. Get your attention off painful things and onto thoughts that soothe you, such as

“Everything is working out; happiness is in my future; I am a good person; I will get through this; the right mate will come to me; I am capable of learning how to love myself and be kind to myself; my fiance will come back to me when we are both ready,” etc.

A very effective way to get your mind off unwanted things is to make lists of all things you appreciate in life.

For instance, get a notebook and start your day by writing about things you appreciate, like this:

“I love my computer. I love its color and shape. I love how fast I can type on it. I love how I can communicate with people all over the world through this fabulous machine. I love how I can find funny videos and laugh for hours if I choose. I love how I can use the Internet to soothe myself with uplifting ideas, and that they are out there and I can find them easily. My computer provides me with an incredible virtual world and I am continually delighted by new discoveries. I am so grateful for my computer, for those who designed it, those who manufactured it, and those who sold it to me. What a wonderful world this is to offer me such a fabulous toy.”

“I love the earth. I love that the earth supports me and gives me life. I love how the sky changes color. I love how sometimes it’s a beautiful pale blue and other times so dramatic. I love stormy skies and peaceful skies. I love sunrises and sunsets. I love the many shapes of clouds. And I love the rain. I love to hear the rain on my roof. I love to lie in bed and doze peacefully listening to the rain. I love that feeling of being safe and warm under the covers while the rain falls. I love hearing the wind. I love the way the leaves makes sounds, sometimes, like paper chimes.”

“I love water. I love how amazing it feels in my hand and on my skin. I love how wonderful it is to drink water when I’m really thirsty. I love how water cleans and refreshes my world.”

Do you see how easily you can change your mood once you get your thoughts off what is causing you pain and look to things that are working for you?

This is an easy technique that you can master. Get yourself a notebook and begin your day by finding things to appreciate and then list everything you appreciate about them in great detail. In this way you will steadily train your mind to think thoughts of love and appreciation.

It may seem simple but it’s very powerful over time. It will change your life.

We all have so much to be grateful for and so much to appreciate. There is no lack of subjects upon which to focus your appreciation so that you forget about your problems and begin to feel better.

And this is the key to having your prayers answered: you cannot receive the answer to your prayer – relief – when you are stoking the fire of your misery.

So stop telling that story you tell. Begin telling a new stories of appreciation of yourself and all of life. Begin telling yourself that everything is working out – which it will do once you stop dwelling on thoughts and stories that make you miserable.

Your prayers are answered. You will perceive that when you leave the old painful stories behind and start telling new stories of how God loves you and how there is nothing wrong with you, and how you are learning to appreciate life in a whole new way.

Change your thoughts and your life must change. It must. That is spiritual law.

I hope this helps you.

Much love,
Clyo

22 Mallesh chaves { 03.29.16 at }

I have been in love with my best friend for 2 years.It was all going great.We both were happy.we both stood by each side in our sorrows and happiness.She was having a bf still I was loving her and she also was knowing that but still we were very close to each other.But after sudden time she was dumped by her bf.After this I straightly not proposed her. She was going in depression so I stood by it giving all my time and make every possible effort to rise her up from that situation and I got succeeded. But after sometimes she only came up to me and told me that I am getting attracted to you because of your such good behaviour but i don’t want a relationship with you.So I told ok it’s fine.But sudden after I felt what I was waiting for years has came to me I can’t let this go out. So I asked why but you don’t want to have relationship with me.She told that I am afraid of it. And because of my eagerness indirectly I was forcing her to come in realtionship.So in past two months she was ignoring me.so I asked why are you doing this?She told that I want you to remove me from your mind that’s why I only want you as a friend.This was told to me when I had given her a promise that I would live your life when you give me reason why are you ignoring me. So I have done what I had promised without uttering a single word. But now it’s killing me I miss her very much. Don’t know what to do??I really want her back in my life as my life partner and my best frd..
As we remain frd again it will always struck in my mind and she also won’t talk properly
So can you help me

23 Clyo Beck { 04.16.16 at }

Dearest Mallesh – The only relationship that matters – and which will give you clarity and inspiration on who to pursue and who is a good match for you – is your relationship with your Higher Self or Inner Being.

In every moment you have two perspectives. You have the perspective of your physical brain, and the perspective from your Higher Self.

All emotion you feel is the difference between what you are thinking and how God is thinking about your situation.

Positive emotion means you are up to speed with how your Inner Being is seeing things.

Negative emotion means you are thinking thoughts that are cutting you off from the perspective of your Higher Self and doing yourself harm. You are creating things you do not want, things and situations that are consistent with the unhappy thoughts you are thinking.

Bottom line, you cannot hear the guidance from your Inner Being as long as you tell this story and suffer. So get off this story.

This woman cannot possibly come to you and love you because – through no fault of your own (many, many people also do this) – you got in the habit of training your thoughts to obsess about this woman and see her as always out of reach. This has been your story. So – do you want this to always be your story? If not, then you must begin to tell yourself a different story – a story about what you want, not what you do not want.

The woman you mention may or may not be a good match for you. She could learn to love you, but first you have to love yourself well enough to stop torturing yourself with thoughts about how much you want her and can’t have her.

Find something else to focus on. Look at something – anything – that IS going right in your life and keep focusing on that. Make lists of things you love and appreciate. Look for positive qualities in yourself and make lists of them. Look for positive qualities in others – and in your surroundings and in your home – that you like and make lists of them. Start a gratitude journal. Look for things to appreciate and write about them.

This is your life’s work:

Get your mind off painful thoughts – quit torturing yourself and start thinking thoughts that make you feel better. Write idealized stories about being happy. Create an inner paradise where you can go and feel good inside yourself, separate from all outside situations.

In doing this you align with God. God will not come down here and feel tortured with you. God is trying to lift you up, but no one can hear it when in pain and confusion, as you currently are.

Remember Philippians 4:8 :

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

We are instructed to train our minds to think about things that feel good because that is how we align with God and, once we align with God’s love energy, we are able to receive the answers to our prayers.

Your first answers to your prayers will be improved thoughts. Your first answers to reaching for better thoughts will be even better-feeling thoughts. You will steadily climb an emotional ladder into better and better feelings.

By the time you are feeling good about yourself and have pretty much forgotten this woman and no longer feel pain, you will be in the vibrational area of love and so will naturally fall in love with someone who will return your love. Ironically, that may be the person who you are currently obsessing over OR she may not. So please do not insist that you must have her or no one else because God can bring you someone who you will love far more than you love this woman if you will allow it.

You are a both a vibrational broadcaster and a vibrational receiver. God is vibrating and broadcasting pure positive energy to you, including guidance leading you to the love of your life. You cannot currnently receive it because you are tuned to the vibration of torture over this woman.

So my advice to you – based upon a lifetime of seeing that this is how life works:

Uplift your thoughts. By continually reaching for a better-feeling, soothing or inspiring thought you will slowly but surely lift your vibration. As you lift your vibration you change your point of attraction. As you improve your point of attraction you will find yourself having better experiences. Eventually you will notice that you are are attracting love instead of rejection and either this woman or someone much better for you, someone whom you will adore, must come to you. It is spiritual Law as certain and predictable as the law of gravity.

You are in control. Either stay where you are and bemoan what’s happening for years until you get sick from the poison of it or decide you want to be happy with or without this woman and train your thoughts away from this torture and toward joy. It’s up to you. Only you can do it. You are so free you can choose bondage. God gave you free will. So you can choose to spend the rest of your life torturing yourself. But it is not what God would have you live.

God gives in direct measure to how much you can receive.

Decide you will receive His joy and love and that your only real job in this life – and what an amazing job it is that we have been given! – is to reach for thoughts that make you feel better and better and then watch your blessings unfold over time.

If you knew how much God adores you, you would turn your focus toward God and getting into a place where you can feel and experience that love and joy and never give this woman – or anyone else who ignored you or withheld love – a moment of your precious time and mental energy.

First focus on loving yourself, not anyone else. Get feeling good about who you are before coming to any conclusions about who you want to be with and the person you will eventually – and naturally – attract will be the right one for you.

You are an eternal, love-filled Being. You are powerful and magnificent. You are adored beyond your comprehension.

You did not come here to suffer. But you must become aware that we are all governed by absolute spiritual laws and one of them is: you get more of how you feel. Period. Deliberately find things that make you feel better and you will begin to see a few more things to feel better about.

It won’t be a sudden, dramatic shift. You have spend a lot of time in this painful place. Give yourself a minimum of 30 days to get to a higher-better feeling place. Be patient with yourself. You are in pain and, if you accept your calling, you will aim toward happiness in your own Being and keep on moving in that direction, a little bit every day.

Spend the next year on a spiritual journey with the intent of getting in touch with your own magnificence and connection to God.

Do not look for that connection through another, which is what you are doing – and is what every person is doing who thinks he or she “must have” one other person and will never love anyone else.

You will have your love and your happiness. You are meant to live a joyful, love-filled life.

But you absolutely must leave your painful stories behind and turn your back on those who do not treat you well.

Fall in love with yourself and you will attract a love you never thought possible.

That is God’s plan for you. Help Him deliver it to you.

Many blessings –

Clyo

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